Babies are full of rainbows and unicorns. | Soupbelly

Our small roly poly baby, looking prankish as always.

Sleep is the most precious commodity that we don't have.

I haven't updated in awhile so I figured I might as well, since it's 4:55am and I have nothing else to do except cross my fingers and hope baby sleeps at least an hour. It's been one of those nights. My husband held her for 4 hours so she and I could sleep tonight. When I took over the shift, I was able to place her down to bed but I'm doubtful it'll last. We reckon she's teething WITH tummy troubles, on top of that we just went her into her nursery.

It's been 7 weeks of crappy sleep for all of us. If you looked up 'crappy sleep' in the dictionary you'd see a picture of us all looking pissed at each other in bed. Before the crappy sleep, she had been sleeping 9-12 hours straight with no conundrum. I don't know exactly why the crappy sleep happened, but it was doubtless a combination of things. It all started the day after her checkup at the pediatrician. After getting her vaccines (and not even all of them, just half for now) she went from 12 hours sleep to 1-3 hours before waking up. I'd blame the doctor's visit, or the vaccines, or the way the nurse place the band-aids on her thighs, or the way the doctor looked at her, but the crappy sleep just went on and on for weeks after that.

So we thought it was teething. She had been biting on everything. She loved cold teething rings. Possibly that was the conundrum. Well, 7 weeks later and we are still waiting for her to cut a tooth, any tooth. We just all want relief. Then we thought possibly she was in pain from having a growth spurt. Then we thought possibly she had tummy troubles. Then we thought she was just being a huge baby. Then we (I) thought it was my husband's loud snoring. Then we thought it was the cats clawing on our bedroom door. Then we thought life wasn't honest and threw pity parties each night, wondering what we got ourselves into as we cried into our pillows. That's all our pillows are excellent for currently. Ok, we didn't really weep about it.

Each once in awhile, she'd sleep 5 hours straight, before her 1-3 hour increments. What was amusing was that each time I woke up after 5 hours I was sooooo excited I got 5 hours that I couldn't fall back asleep. It was sick.

I'm posting this just to get it off my chest. Yes, we have tried all the recommendations from parents who've been there. But it all comes down to how this is the way it is. For now. I reckon a lot of parents don't talk about these problems or make set alight of it because they don't want to seem like those parents, the ones who can't handle anything. I especially don't want to be the mom who can't handle taking care of my own baby. Though that's what it seems like most of the time. Recently I told a friend I was worried of saying I was stressed because it made me look weak. Everything has to be rainbows and unicorns.

Not that I dislike everything about fatherliness. During the day she's the most perfect baby. Rainbows and unicorns DO come out onto her diapers. She squeals and laughs when we play picaboo. She opens her mouth wide like a baby bird waiting to be fed the moment I plop her into her high chair, banging her chubby small fists on the tray. She looks at me with wide eyes as she raises her arms for me to hold her. She sticks her tongue out because it makes me laugh, which in turn makes her laugh. She calls me daddy (ok, that's something I'm not really enjoying, but I'll take it). Nighttime is a different tale. I remind for myself that all of this will only happen once, and to delight in the excellent moments. She is a pleased, healthy baby that just has some sleep issues. There are a lot worse things in life than this.

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