Celebrating the nine months and beyond

Once a hush-hush subject, mummies-to-be are now embraced in Pakistan. DESIGN: ZAINAB LOTIA AND URSHELA RIAZ

KARACHI: 

For as far back as one may maybe remember, pregnancies were kept strictly under wraps. While it was expected for a woman to get on the family way as soon as she married, ironically it was a taboo to speak of it, let alone make a show of it.

(Read: "Unplanned pregnancy: Time to speak up")

Despite modernisation, a significant section of society still considers it shameful and/or even ill-fated to reveal their pregnancy for the dread of jinxing the birth "What if the baby is stillborn," points out 54-year-ancient Mrs Feroz, "Pre-empting pregnancy revelry are risky. That is why we have aqeeqas instead, as a post-birth celebration."

Anila Weldon of the pioneering mom support group WeldonMoms shares her thoughts. "The thought goudh bharaee has always existed in our culture as well as in Latin and Hebrew cultures. It's just now that public are converting this thought into a more 'cooler' version of the same as baby showers."

Weldon started her support network when she herself became a mother five years ago. "I was a whole career woman, notorious for having a board outside my office that said 'kids and dogs not allowed'," she admitted.

In the last five years, WeldonMoms has developed a reputation for holding grand and fun events from annual chocolate festivals and costume carnivals to celebrating Mother's and Father's Day.  A few days ago, the group organised an intimate baby shower for expecting mothers at Butler's Cafe, where frothy chocolate concoctions were served with platters of tasty food to pamper the moms to be.

"I like the food that Anila gets in her events," chuckled Urouge Raza, a young mom and a photographer, who specilaises in child portraits. "Young moms are under so much stress, so this kind of support is fantastic," spoke Nayyera Lari, a mother of two. From the looks of this small baby shower, the meticulous attention that Weldon pays to her fellow moms — the ribboned water bottles, gift vouchers and lavish spread of foods and drinks — is evident.

"It gives us a platform to meet new moms," says Nida Amir, a 'veteran' WeldonMom, "And we learn tips for colicy babies, teething, in-law issues and the general awareness about a child's well-life."

The support group provides all that was once the primary role of the matriarch in extended families. It is life argued that WeldonMoms is an extension of the same kind of support and advice. "I often hear this criticism," says Weldon candidly, "that why should public come to us agreed that this is such a private affair. With the breakdown of the extended family charitable way to nuclear families, women no longer have that support that they used to have."

Also working women these days are apt more independent in thought, many may not be receptive to the age-ancient advice that their matrons may offer. "The nuclear family as a social reality is what is contributing heavily to our group getting larger," says  Weldon.

A testimony to this fact may maybe be seen at the baby shower where women's communicable laughter and reminisces of their children's play dates and plans for the next kids outing, showed what a critical role the support group had become in the lives of these young women. "It's just so much fun for both us and the kids," added Urouge Raza, a newbie to the group.

Even if there was a time when husbands would ridicule the whole thought, services such as marriage counselling have helped WeldonMoms become more acceptable.

"The most satisfying element of this job for me is when I see these women, who were once strangers, become friends, background up play dates, offering to babysit for each additional while they go for something as negligible as threading. I know then that what we have made is a relationship for life," beams Weldon.

Published in The Express Tribune, July 27^th,  2011.

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