Applebee's Gets Toddler Drunk: Six Kiddie Cocktails They Should ...

​An Applebee’s in suburban Detroit accidentally gave a two-year-ancient a margarita in a sippy cup instead of the apple juice his mom ordered, a mistake that wasn’t learned in anticipation of the kid’s blood alcohol level was .10 — beyond the officially authorized limit for drivers. The kid was okay, after a trip to the drunk tank emergency room.

No word on how the child slept that night, but Gut Check’s guessing pretty fucking awesome.

We’ve gotten so uptight about sedatives and kids. Really, what parent hasn’t invented a case of hay fever as an excuse to give Junior a swig of Benadryl so he’ll cool the hell down? You know what they say: “Robitussin stops the fussin’!” So what’s a sippy cup-size margarita going to hurt?

Possibly Applebee’s is on to something. Give the tots a small something that goes down sweet and strong. Not enough to make their small livers explode. Just something to, you know, take the edge off when they’re eatin’ excellent in the neighborhood.

St. Joseph’s Rangtang for Children

​ With a flavor like liquid baby aspirin, Three Olives Rangtang Vodka begs to be made into a kid-friendly concoction. Mix with some healthy Sunny D and serve in a highball rimmed with crushed baby aspirin.

(Warning: Baby aspirin should not be given to babies or children because of its link to Reye’s Syndrome, a potentially fatal condition with symptoms of behavioral changes or vomiting. Or that might be the vodka.)

Gripe Fire Water

​For the all-natural parents who don’t want manmade chemicals sullying their child, Gripe Water’s the go-to. A blend of peppermint, chamomile, fennel and ginger essences, Gripe Water not only soothes a colicky belly, it also adds fantastic herbal notes to newfangled small-batch organic gin, like
Farmer’s (which you doubtless won’t find at Applebee’s).

Grape Cough Syrup Bomb

​Hey kids! Drinking’s fun! And there’s nothing more fun than dropping one drink into another! A wee plastic two-ounce measure of grape-flavored nighttime cough syrup depth-charged into four ounces of Red Bull: Chug it, then run around and around and around in anticipation of you fall down and sleep for three days! It’s what fueled Britney Spears through her first three being of stardom. Breakfast of champions!

Oreo Jack Teethers

​Whatever happened to the excellent ancient days when parents rubbed whiskey onto the inflamed gums of teething babies? Those were more pleased times (albeit mainly because everyone was either drunk or asleep). Applying alcohol directly into a child’s mouth is frowned upon in this day and age, but whiskey and chocolate are welcome additions to any party. Applebee’s kids’ dessert menu is Oreo-based, from the Oreo Cookie Sundae to the Oreo Cookie Shake. How about taking some of those Oreos, dipping them in Jack Daniel’s, and letting the small one gum her way to toothy silent? All the cool kids cut their teeth with a bottle of Jack.

See original here:
dental implants cost